Monday, March 14, 2011

Solution To The Dog Problem

For too many years I've documented the dogshit problem in Plattsburgh, especially at this blog. It's a problem that city never acknowledges. Maybe the thinking is that if you don't see it, it's not there. Unless you step in it and have to scrape off your shoes.

A college professor specializing in quotidian metaphysical studies, Dr. I.M. Farout, says he has the answer.

He explained to the possible solution to me during a recent interview. As he sucked on his pipe, the air in his office permeated with a strange odor suggestive of South American hallucinogens, Dr. Farout said the answer lay in a variation of feng shui (pronounced fung shway). Feng shui is a Chinese form of aesthetics that tries to relate man's environment with nature.

For example, the location of furniture in someone's living room could have good feng shui, explained Dr. Farout. Putting a chair near a large window where sunlight comes in would be better than in a darker corner of the room where artificial light is needed. Working with nature is important, trying to receive positive qi (or what the hippies used to call good vibes).

So how does this tie in with the dogshit problem in Plattsburgh?

Dr. Farout says that dogshit is a part of nature. There should be no problem with it being found every fifteen feet in any direction in the city. One must accept the cycle of nature. He advocates a variation of feng shui called dung sway, letting dogs shit wherever they want.

I asked Dr. Farout how this was any different than what the city was doing, just ignoring the problem. I never got a reply because he had put down his pipe and was snoring.

Maybe next time.

[Note: Dr. I.M. Farout shouldn't be confused with Mike Royko's Dr. I.M. Kookie. ]

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Fresh Dumps At City Hall

And I'm not talking about snow.

Amazing how Plattsburgh, NY ranks as one of the best micropolitan communities around but everyone must be blind to the ubiquitous dogshit, especially the pols in City Hall who somehow don't notice this stuff when entering and leaving the building.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Dogshit Problem In Peeburgh? How Can This Be?

Here's a recent entry in Speakout, the opinion forum in the Press-Republican where people can email in their concerns:

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March 3rd, 2011


Shame on the men who walk their dogs in the Terry Gordon path on Hamilton Street and never curb their dogs. Many people use the path and children play in the field where their dogs poop. Kicking snow over it doesn't constitute curbing.

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As I mentioned before, I saw someone one winter let his dog shit on the sidewalk and then cover it up with snow. Of course, if someone can see it, they can step over it. But when it's hidden it's a fecal landmine.

Dead Pigeon #4

Another dead pigeon in downtown Plattsburgh, the fourth one I've seen this winter. This carcass was found on the corner of Bridge and Margaret streets. Like the others the body has been ripped open. Did the pigeon die first and then something fed on it? Or is a raptor or another animal snacking and then leaving the remains behind? (Photo taken 3/1/11.)