Saturday, December 25, 2010

Cancer For Christmas

Buy a few cartons for friends and relatives. Cigarettes: the perfect holiday gift that keeps on giving -- and later on, taking.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Remember Me?

Back in October you carved me and put me on a second story ledge as a Halloween decoration.

But now I'm feeling cold and depressed. Could you give me a proper burial before I slide off the ledge, sliming a passerby on Clinton Street?

Friday, December 10, 2010

Curb Service

With all of the bars in downtown Plattsburgh it's important to cater to the falling-down-drunk crowd. Apparently a restaurant is making gutter deliveries.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

More Dogtown Dooings

The Westelcom Park between Margaret and Durkee streets is posted with NO DOGS ALLOWED signs. Years ago the Press-Republican ran an article about the sad state of the park: the lawn was dotted with dog doo-doo. This park at one time used to be the spot for various performances -- plays, movies, etc. Now it's just become another free range dogshit zone.

Plattsburgh, NY: Craphound Capital of the World. (Watch Your Step.)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Nighttime Danger: Clinton Street

The city put in some new streetlamps on Clinton Street. They're an improvement in that they emit soft white light, not the garish urine yellow radiance of the older ones.

But the problem is that the new lights are energy savers -- they save energy by putting out the equivalent of a 15 watt bulb, if that. And that's with double the lights per lamppost.

With such dim lighting one has to watch his step for lurking dangers. No, I don't mean muggers. I mean the usual natural decorations that downtown Plattsburgh, NY is renown for around the world via this blog. Please note that the flattened shape of some of these unwholesome objects indicates that a few have stepped into danger.

Images taken Sunday, 11/28/10, 5 PM+, the south side of Clinton Street between Oak and Margaret (basically the entire street). Thanks to reader Datsa Lottadookie for the tip.

Hey, Need An Easy Chair?

Check out this slightly-used beauty sitting in the parking lot at the Social Services building, Broad Street.

Brown Friday

The day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday because the big holiday sales on that date put most stores in the black, big profits. Black Friday is a better term to describe the mood of harried retail sales people putting up the onslaught of greed on that day.

I hate the holidays, the crowds, the feeding frenzy for the perfect Xmas gift, the best deal. I stay the hell away from the mall. Instead, I go for a walk, enjoying the peacefulness of downtown Plattsburgh... until I see this stuff:

All images taken Friday midafternoon, 11/26/10, along a span of Miller St.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Lost And Found: Split Cucumber

Durkee Street, 11/22/10.

Putrid Pumpkins

Thanksgiving is two days away. Maybe it's time to pick up and trashcan those Halloween pumpkins lying around. Or are you going to drop your semi-devoured turkey carcass next to a rotting pumpkin?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Mystery Trash Watch: Payphone Kiosk - Day 9

Image taken 11/10/10.

Previously I thought that the white object lodged in the payphoneless kiosk near the downtown Post Office entrance was a diaper. Upon somewhat closer but cautious visual inspection it seems the object might not a diaper but something just as unpleasant (e.g., dogshit wrapped in paper towels). Whatever it is, it looks nasty and shouldn't be left there.

Maybe Verizon should send out its hazmat team to pick it up.

Margaret Or Weed Street?

If you say Weed Street, you're wrong. Weed Street looks a lot better than this, even though it's a side street, not a main drag like Margaret.

Maybe Plattsburgh City wants to greet visitors with this jungle jamboree to show how "green" it is. First impressions are so important.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Diaper Watch: Payphone Stand - Day 4

I would call and report it but there's no payphone.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dirty Diaper Replaces Payphone

Where else but delightful downtown Plattsburgh, NY?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Doggone It! A New Power Source

In an article headlined "Dog poop has bright side: Powering Mass. park lamp" artist Matthew Mazzotta has created a way to recycle canine crap: use it as fuel for a gaslight lantern at a dog park in Cambridge.

An astute reader [ Hat Tip: Kelly Julian Sexton ] sent me a link to this story. Why did she do that? Obviously you've never read this blog.

The system set up by Mazzotta has dog-owners picking after their pets with free biodegradable bags. Then the bags are dropped into a steel drum and the dog-owner turns a crank to mix up the deposited Fido feces with water. Microbes do their work, creating methane that is burned off by the lantern.

Considering Plattsburgh's plethora of pooch poop, the city easily has enough potential fuel to create the energy output of a medium-sized nuclear power plant. But I'm afraid that Mazzotta's system wouldn't work here. Yes, some people would be happy to go along with it, they're considerate citizens, but...

Too many people don't pick up after their dogs already, even in places like Trinity Park where free waste bags are provided. Apparently it's beneath these individuals to keep a shared public space clean for others, so don't bother them. If they're that inconsiderate, forget about them taking the time to turn a drum and create bio-fuel. Rude dog-owners in Plattsburgh are too cranky to crank.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fed Up Being Dogged, Illinois Citizen Takes Action

As reported at the Huffington Post:

Police in Naperville [a Chicago suburb] said a woman who stepped in dog feces outside her apartment appears to have retaliated by heaving it at the door of her neighbor who owns a dog.

Susan Miller was charged with disorderly conduct after her bizarre protest Wednesday.

The Naperville Sun reported that police say Miller also uprooted a sign telling residents to pick up dog waste and placed it on the neighbor's patio. Miller was arrested after the neighbor called police.

An unapologetic Miller said that if she can pick up the poop from her 80-pound dog, her neighbor can pick up after a 20-pound dog.

Hey, better on the rude dog-owner's door than on the public sidewalk or a neighbor's lawn.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Morons Can't Read

Westelcom park is a nice stretch of green lawn between Margaret and Durkee streets in downtown Plattsburgh. To maintain the clean green this sign has been posted:

But apparently big red letters are beyond the comprehension of rude dog owners. For example:

Maybe they should put up another sign: DON'T FEED THE FLIES.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Plattsy's Poop Patrol -- 8/8/10

Durkee Street, Sunday, 6:38 PM.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Ad Nauseam

I know what you're thinking: not more shots of dogshit. Keep in mind you only see a fraction of what I encounter. Also, I don't walk on many different streets but the ones I usually travel are always dotted with decorations.

The first image is from a spot where I had earlier climbed into a car, someone was giving me a lift. Usually I'm careful but didn't notice the lurking mess until after I was sitting in the vehicle. I managed to avoid stepping in that crap and soiling a friend's new car.

The second image is from the same area. Same owner and dog? Wouldn't surprise me. Why doesn't the owner keep his shit to home? That's right -- he doesn't like his own yard to be fouled.

The third one shows the dogshit on the edge of a downtown concrete step. I'm assuming that someone scraped the mess off his shoe because he didn't pay attention to Plattsburgh's canine cannoli chaos.


Come to Dogtown and smash a window. It's good for the economy. Hardware stores sell more plywood to temporarily patch the gaping hole. Window replacement shops make another sale. And insurance companies have the excuse to jack up the rates.

Two places you should never target: the police station and the doughnut shop.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Sprucing Up Oak Street

Good to see that the old buildings across from the public library are getting a face lift. No more rotten wood and weathered paint.

But all the renovations mean shit if the city doesn't take care of the dog problem. This pile is right across the street from the upgraded buildings.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Lost And Found: Peeled Banana

Found on Margaret Street. 7/17/10. Peel not seen.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Who Dogged City Hall?

At least the big ones are easy to spot. It's the little left-overs you have to really watch for. For example, these from yesterday:

But despite their small size, the flies still like them.

I wonder how good Mayor Kasprzak's vision is? Imagine wearing new shoes, you don't pay attention because in you're in a hurry to attend a meeting, and -- yuck! --time to scrape off both disease-carrying flies and their meal from the soles. Especially before a luncheon meeting.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Clop, Clop, Plop, Plop?

During Mayor's Cup one night I saw a couple of riders on horses making their way through downtown Plattsburgh.

The next day I found two mystery globs on the Durkee Street sidewalk. It looks like someone stepped in one and kept walking. I suspect they're evidence of equine waste but I'm not positive. And taking photos is about as close was I want to get.

Whatever they are, they were still there yesterday, drier in the hot sun but still damn disgusting.

Horse sense says someone should shovel this stuff up.